There are times when conflict can be healthy, but not all the time

Conflict. We’ve all faced it at some point in our careers and it can be quite shocking to experience, but there are times when it can be healthy.

Productive and high performing teams thrive on consensus, but they also embrace conflict. Why? Because it helps boost creativity. Research from INSEAD found that it makes employees work harder to find solutions for the conflict.

On the flipside, avoiding conflict can also be detrimental to an organisation as it can create an avoidance culture. Classic signs are meetings filled with ‘taking it offline’, managers looking at creative workarounds for challenging employees and huge priority lists for fear of saying no.

This approach can lead to frustration and a culture of negativity, not to mention halt innovation and productivity.

That’s not to say being confrontational all the time is great either. This can create an atmosphere of fear and tension. We don’t all want to be clones yet we don’t want to view conflict as normal because both of these are detrimental to a business, which begs the question; what’s the right balance?

When conflict is good

A good conflict arises from when ideas or plans are being exchanged. To use a recent example to illustrate the point; one of our team was in a client meeting recently where new plans were being presented. When plans were pitched and all stakeholders had their say, our team member questioned some of these plans and gave their reasons for challenging some key points.

This didn’t create a hostile environment, but instead gave people pause for thought. discussing, debating and presenting alternative solutions. The meeting ended on a positive note and a consensus agreed. Ok, as consultants a key part of our job is to challenge, but I think it illustrates the point that conflict in this instance is good…but you have to give people safe harbour to do this.

Of course, not everybody thrives on healthy conflict. An employee or team member may be conflict averse or more of an introvert, but there is still scope to challenge and to say ‘I don’t agree’. However, always make sure you check in with them after a meeting, get their feedback and make sure they’re comfortable.

For those that thrive on conflict, this is a great opportunity to use it with purpose. Caveat, this doesn’t give you the nod to go hog wild and be confrontational at every turn. It means you know that person is open to an animated exchange when necessary.

There are also times when conflict can simmer away until it reaches boiling point. Although we would recommend issues that are bubbling under are addressed as quickly as possible, sometimes a chance to vent and let off steam can be crucial.

If an employee or manager has repeatedly addressed an issue that is troubling them, but they feel very strongly about the fact nothing has been done to solve the issue, then conflict may be the only way to get heard. Sometimes it can be required to get something moved to action.

When conflict is bad

A direct conflict culture creates a bullying culture and that is not good for business. It is not to be encouraged or confused with good conflict. You will lose employees with this approach.

At the start of this piece, I mentioned how in conflict averse cultures managers can turn a blind eye to a challenging employee for fear of having a difficult, and yes, confrontational conversation.

The impact of this approach is that it breeds negativity amongst colleagues, and it also looks as though you’re giving that employee preferential treatment. Not to mention communicating a message that it’s ok to be a difficult.

While that individual is behaving however they want, valued employees are leaving or starting to change their behaviours to match that individual…because they’ve been given the signal that it’s ok to do so.

Ok, I know and understand that nobody wants to have ‘that’ conversation, but this is a great example of where it really has to be done. In fact, it is such a common problem and one I’m always asked about, but it has to be addressed before it does your business harm.

There are also times when conflict can just be between two individuals, such as a manager and colleague. This can be a lonely and isolating experience, and, in these instances, it’s important to really look into what’s going with this dynamic and address whether the manager may need training or focus their skills elsewhere.

This is also an opportunity to empower the colleague to address their challenges head on with their manager. The DESC approach has can help individuals have a constructive conversation and effectively communicate how conflict is making them feel.

There’s a more detailed download on our website, but the DESC approach works in four steps:

Step 1. Describe the situation: Summarise the situation and cite specific examples

Step 2. Explain how it makes you feel: Clearly state where you are facing conflict and outline how it makes you feel

Step 3. Solution: Offer a fair and reasonable solution to the problem. This shows a thought-free resolution

Step 4. Consequence: Outline the positive consequences of adopting the suggested solution

DESC is a framework we have relied upon often and it works well when conflict occurs between two individuals.   

As you can see, there’s a fine line between good and bad conflict, but as a tool to refine ideas, drive creativity and innovation, there’s nothing like a good old heated and robust exchange of views!